Oftentimes people have a negative outlook towards daees (callers to Islam). This is because many of the popular daees are found in places like Speaker’s Corner in the United Kingdom, where there’s a lot of yelling and aggressive behavior. For many people this is where they learn how to give dawah and unfortunately it has a negative impact on how they deal with people. In Speaker’s Corner, oftentimes the goal is not to guide people to the truth, but rather to refute them in the most embarrassing way possible. It becomes a test of egos rather than a place of hidayah. There is some benefit there, and not all the daees act the same, but the most viral clips are often the most humiliating ones. However when we study the life of the Prophet peace be upon him (PBUH), we realize he did not give dawah in this way at all. His dawah was one of kindness and gentleness.
“So by mercy from Allāh, [O Muḥammad], you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you. So pardon them and ask forgiveness for them and consult them in the matter. And when you have decided, then rely upon Allāh. Indeed, Allāh loves those who rely [upon Him].” (Ali Imran, 3: 159)
Dawah Requires Patience
It’s hard to change people. For instance Musa’s people after they were freed from Firawn’s tyranny went back to worshipping idols. It’s not that they didn’t believe in Allah, but their habit and comfort was that of idol worship. Their family, their society, the elite in the society all worshiped idols. Most people don’t think deeply about what they are doing or why they’re doing it. They simply copy what those around them do and are happy with that. Even in modern times people often don’t question their own culture. They simply accept it as the way it is. So for a people like that to change, a daee must deal with them with kindness and gentleness. Aisha RA reminds us of this fact.
“If the first thing to be revealed was: ‘Do not drink alcoholic drinks.’ people would have said, ‘We will never leave alcoholic drinks,’ and if there had been revealed, ‘Do not commit illegal sexual intercourse, ‘they would have said, ‘We will never give up illegal sexual intercourse.’” (Bukhari Volume 6, Book 61, n. 515)
The Hearts Must be Attached to Allah
This is something we must take to heart, because too often we start our dawah by telling people what they can and cannot do in Islam, and this is not how the Prophet PBUH started his dawah. His dawah in Makkah was to remind the people of Allah and the day of judgment to come. Once your heart is attached to Allah, then naturally you’ll be attached to the one informing you about Allah which is His prophet. After that you’ll want to please Allah by following the commands of His prophet. After that you will want to stay away from what Allah dislikes you to do. And that is the whole religion, but it starts from loving Allah.
The Prophet’s Wisdom
The argument many people use for why they deal rough with people when giving dawah, is because they are reciprocating what they’re receiving. However, is this the way of Rasoolullah? In fact when the jews of Madina would give greetings to him, they would subtly say curse be upon you, instead of peace be upon you. The Prophet was aware of their sly speech, but he did not curse them back. He did not escalate the situation. He was aware of his situation and the situation of those who might overhear and see. He responded beautifully by saying and upon you. In the minds of the Jews they were getting away with insulting the prophet, but they didn’t realize their insults were being returned to them in an even more subtle way.
Similarly when the people of Taif harassed and abused the Prophet PBUH to the point that his sandals were filled with blood. The Prophet PBUH even in this state of weakness and humiliation did not curse them. The angel of the mountains asked the Prophet PBUH if he would like to have them crushed and Instead he made dua for the people of Taif! (Bukhari Volume 4, book 54, n. 454).
Can you imagine that? I think all of us would have those people crushed. The Prophet PBUH wasn’t calling them to evil. He wasn’t trying to get money out of them or exploit them. He was simply calling them to worship Allah alone. And there’s no compulsion in religion either, so he was not forcing them, nor could he. He wasn’t aggressive towards them. But this is the way of the sinful people. When you speak to them gently and call them towards Allah, the shayateen that are in them get worried and encourage them to be harsh back to you.
The Prophet Was Gentle to the Ignorant
The final two examples I’ll share are of two separate instances. One where a bedouin man urinated in the Prophet’s mosque. The sahabah rightfully were upset with the man, but what did the Prophet PBUH do? Did he yell with them? Did he have the man beaten or humiliated? No, instead he stopped his companions from interrupting him, and allowed the man to finish. Then he had the sahabah bring water to purify the area. Then he explained easily and gentilly what the man had done and why he was mistaken (Bukhari Volume 4, book 54, n. 454). This is the proper way of giving naseehah. Imagine if this happened in your local mosque. Would the people be as gentle as the Prophet PBUH was with this man? Or would we treat him so harshly that he would never come to the masjid again and may even leave the religion all together!
The final example is that of Mu’awiyah who said Yarhamakumullah after another sahabi sneezed in prayer. The people stared at Mu’awiyah and he started conversing with them. They signaled for him to be silent so finally he understood and was silent. He however was angry with them, because they seemed to be harsh with him. After the prayer ended the Prophet PBUH explained to him softly and gently that while praying Muslims are only to recite the Quran and glorify Allah. (Sahih Muslim, Book 004, Number 1094)
Final Thoughts
Harshness does not bring the people closer to Islam. Rather it drives people away. We must be patient, because most change happens slowly. The religion wasn’t revealed at once and the people didn’t all convert at once. It was gradually, step by step. Whether we are dealing with a born Muslim, a convert Muslim, or a non-Muslim we should deal with all the people gently and kindly.
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